Resync By: .:: Saeed.en ::.
Hang on there, Clyde.
Sorry, miss, we're closed.
Just look at what I'm selling. You'll plotz.
Good work, Harley girl.
Now, what would be a suitable trade for our joke-in-the-box?
For some reason, this just speaks to me. What do you think, Harl?
It's you, pudding.
Awfully nice doing business with you. Ta.
What a pleasant fellow.
It's weird. All this junk and the Joker only takes one lousy statue.
Especially since word on the street says he's desperate for cash these days.
Things are never what they seem with the Joker.
I guess the night brings out all the wackos.
It was made of jade, worth maybe a hundred grand.
I'd like a closer look.
Hey. He can't leave a crime scene with evidence.
You want to stop him, be my guest.
According to this, the Laughing Dragon has earned quite a foreboding reputation.
Ever since it was carved in China nearly 30 years ago...
...it has passed through several owners, all of whom died prematurely.
And I can tell you why.
This so-called jade is emitting low-level radiation.
Alfred, isn't Bruce Wayne about due for a trip to Metropolis?
Yes, but do you think this is an appropriate time?
I'd say the timing couldn't be better.
Ladies and gentlemen of the press...
...if you stay calm, you may actually live to write about this.
Is the president secured?
Copy. We've already informed him...
...of our change in flight plans.
-What's going on? -What's he doing to her?
Let's make an example of this hero.
A very tragic example, I'm afraid, Miss...?
-Lane. -Lane? Lois Lane?
The one Superman always saves?
Afraid so.
Thanks for strapping me in.
Happy I could help out, Mr. President.
I hope I didn't shake you and the others up too badly.
I hate to say, I've gotten used to it.
Superman?
Yes?
How can I put this?
I was just thinking, it might be nice to see each other...
...when I wasn't, I don't know, falling out a window or something.
I'm grateful for all the times you've helped me, you understand....
-I understand. -You do?
-It's the First National Bank. -You'd better go. People might--
Get hurt.
"l understand, Lois." "Really, you do? "
"Yep. You're a complete moron." "Why, thank you, Superman.
I think I'm a total loser too." Jeez.
"A grateful president bestows heartfelt thanks...
...on Metropolis' favorite son, Superman."
Favorite son, my--
Mercy. Start the car. I'm coming down.
Right away, Lex.
The office. Now.
Swell, Mr. L.
"Mr. L."? Mercy?
Oh, yeah, she had a little accident.
All right, missy. I don't know what your game is...
...but I promise you you'll pay dearly for this!
You're dead. Do you hear me?
Blah, blah, blah.
Whoa, mama! Check out the cute hitchhiker.
Yoo-hoo!
-Joker. -Lexy, old kid.
Do I have a deal for you.
Rich Corinthian leather.
What do you want?
I sense we are kindred spirits, you and l.
Oh, there are differences to be sure. Like hair.
But underneath it all, we're both entrepreneurs, men of vision.
We see an opportunity, we grab it. Am I right?
Right.
But in the past few weeks, I've had a run of bad luck...
...bad luck that wears a cape.
Thanks to that miserable, pointy-eared rodent, Batman...
...all my operations in Gotham City have been shut down.
But you too have an overgrown bully in long underwear...
...which brings me to my little proposition.
I'm listening.
Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman.
What makes you think you can kill Superman...
...when you can't even handle a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?
There's nothing mere about that mortal. Besides...
...I've read up on your flyboy.
I know his weakness.
See? Solid Kryptonite.
You know I can't be connected to this in any way.
Oh, you'll be Mr. Clean, I promise. Deal?
Deal.
I hear Wayne's deal with LexCorp could run into the billions. He's a high roller.
I hear he's nothing but Gotham trash.
Rich, spoiled...
...and absolutely gorgeous.
-Mr. Wayne. Mr. Wayne. -What brings you to Metropolis?
How long will you stay?
Quick, is my hair straight?
Excuse me, aren't you the famous Lois Lane?
Me? Famous? Well, hardly. I mean, uh.... This is Clark Kent.
Mr. Wayne.
I read all about your adventure on Air Force One.
-You're quite the newsmaker. -No more than you.
Which brings up the question of why you're in town.
Mr. Wayne, your car.
Maybe we can discuss it over dinner, if you're available.
Totally. I mean, I think so. I'll have to check my calen-- Yes.
Great. I'll pick you up at 8.
Who'd have figured a guy named Weasel could cook this good?
Caesar Carlini, my old pal.
Why, I haven't seen you since.... Wait.
I've never seen you, have l? You need to get out more.
-Who is this clown? -Not "Clown."
Joker.
I'm in town on business and I need a place to hang my hat.
Try the Motel Nine.
But it would be so much cozier at your place, like a sleepover.
Are you nuts?
Kill him.
Can I play too?
Carlini, all that spicy food. You look a little gassy.
No. Stop.
Holy guacamole. Looks like you need a new leader.
I nominate me.
I second the nomination.
All opposed?
They found him like this at the city dump.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
But we know who did it.
He's telling us right now.
As you can see, the WayneLex T7 can traverse the most difficult terrain...
...never losing sight of its ultimate target.
Fourteen-point-eight seconds.
Congratulations.
This is your project too, you know.
Well, I'm proud of the work both our teams have done.
These robots are gonna revolutionize unmanned space travel.
Actually, there may be a use for them closer to home.
The Joint Chiefs have shown tremendous interest.
It doesn't take much imagination to envision these robots on the battlefield.
Except I won't allow it.
-What? -I don't like guns.
Well, Bruce, I think I have something to say about this.
Not according to our deal.
All technological applications need my approval first.
Blame it on me, Lex.
Tell your pals at the Pentagon...
...I just don't have the imagination.
So he just appears when there's trouble? No special signal?
He's not like your Batman, thank goodness.
Then how do you contact him?
Committing a felony helps.
Listen, you seem awfully interested in Superman.
-Do you want me to fix you two up? -Sorry.
No, I'm sorry. It's just that I was hoping...
...to get away from the subject of the Man of Steel for one night.
I've been a little too consumed with him lately.
Maybe we could change subjects.
No more men in tights?
Deal.
So just keep your ears open.
Let me know if you hear any buzz about the Joker.
Sure thing, Mr. Kent.
But, uh, which one?
There's lots of jokers around here.
Hey, sweetheart. What are you, deaf? Another round!
-What's going on? -What's happening?
Who is he?
It's been a long time, Binko.
I heard your boss Carlini's been replaced.
We need to talk.
Let's get out of here.
Get him!
Hey!
Where's the Joker?
Who knows? Making ha-ha with Harley Quinn.
I don't know. Honest. I never went back after he muscled in.
I don't want nothing to do with that clown.
That's enough. I think you got your answer.
I heard you were crazy. I didn't think you were stupid.
-Bruce Wayne? -You peeked.
I won't have vigilantism in my town.
You'll be rid of me. As soon as I find the Joker.
That may not be soon enough.
It doesn't take much, does it?
The Joker has 20 pounds more where this came from.
Thought you might like to know.
-Hello. -Hi.
I just wanted to let you know, I'll be in late tomorrow.
I'm having breakfast with Bruce.
Isn't that special?
Do I detect a note of disapproval?
You were the one who compared him to garbage.
Well, I was wrong.
He's very thoughtful and much deeper...
...than the gossipmongers would lead you to believe.
-You'd be surprised. -Would I now?
I'll let you go so you can count sheep...
...or whatever you Kansas boys dream about. Bye.
Touché.
Previously on Superman:
I just wanted to let you know I'll be in late tomorrow.
I'm having breakfast with Bruce.
Isn't that special.
He's very thoughtful and much deeper than the gossip mongers...
...would lead you to believe.
You'd be surprised.
Where's The Joker?
Lexy, old kid.
Pay me one billion dollars, and I'll kill Superman.
The Joker has 20 pounds more where this came from.
You know I can't be connected to this in any way.
Deal?
Deal.
The senator...
...declined comment. Done.
And not a moment too soon.
Bruce. When did you--?
About three paragraphs ago. I didn't wanna distract you.
Ready to do the town?
Give me a minute to see the chief, then I'm all yours.
Clark, keep an eye on Bruce, will you?
I'll be right back.
-Actually, Lois-- -Don't be intimidated.
Regale him with madcap tales of the nightlife in Smallville.
She never stops, does she?
Not that I've noticed. Any luck finding the comedian?
Three nights, and not so much as a green hair.
Of course, you have been dividing your time between work and Lois.
Is that a problem?
Let's just say I'm concerned. Your reputation is dubious...
...in and out of costume.
Don't worry. I'm taking Lois quite seriously.
Besides, it seems to me you had your chance.
So, Mr. Wayne, ready to sweep me off my feet?
Be seeing you.
This city is gorgeous at night.
Is it? I wasn't looking at the city.
Lois. About Clark Kent.
Are you and he...?
I mean....
No, Bruce. Your only competition flew away some time ago.
My, you do live dangerously.
Don't you realize you're moving in on Superman's main squeeze?
And then I said....
They've got guns!
Take your hands off her, you--
See that he's street pizza.
In this town, some flying fool could have caught him.
Well, aren't we tenacious?
Catch you next time, Brucie.
Swell. Now Gotham's sending us their wackos.
Don't worry, Mr. Wayne. The SCU will get her back safe and sound.
Thank you, inspector.
-You realize she's just the bait. -I'll be careful.
Careful won't cut it. With Joker, expect the unexpected.
Maybe you should have remembered that.
Think of it, Miss Lane.
This rock is more precious than gold.
One teensy chip will go for thousands on the collectors' market...
...after it kills your flyboy.
-You sick, demented, murdering freak! -How rude.
Half for now and half for later.
You've got a front row seat for the story of the century, my dear.
The death of Superman.
SCU, Turpin.
Am-scray, turnip. I wanna talk to the boy in blue.
You got something to say, clown, say it to--
I'm here, Joker. What have you done with Lois Lane?
She's right here, Superman...
...and she'd love to see you.
Want to know where here is? Don 't blink.
Got the picture, Supey? Come alone.
No cops or little Lois dies laughing.
Wait, what picture? What did he mean?
More powerful than a locomotive.
And just about as subtle.
I'm flattered you put on your Sunday best.
Where is she, Joker?
Forget about Lois.
Feast your eyes on this.
Now, I'll ask you once more.
I don't understand.
I had it all planned so perfectly.
-Oh, wait, that's it. -What?
Silly me. I forgot the acid.
What's the matter, Supey?
No steam left in the old locomotive?
I hope you're taking notes.
-Not now. -But, pudding...
-...Batman's headed your way. -Get out.
Pardon my hasty exit. We have a pest control problem.
Feel free to expire any time.
I'll be back in a moment.
Two for the price of one. I love it.
And the best part is...
...you're all going out with a smile.
Have a happy--
Hydrochloric acid. It would take a week to eat through the wall.
No. Wait.
Kryp-- Kryptonite.
Snap out of it, Kent.
Or Joker gets the last laugh.
Keep your heads down.
They're loose!
That's not fair.
It's over, Joker.
It hasn't begun, Supey.
He's gotta be kidding.
They're grenades.
Expect the unexpected.
Thank you. I couldn't have saved Lois without your help.
I'm aware of that.
Bruce. Bruce Wayne. He was with me when Joker....
Is he all right? Do you know?
He's fine.
Just fine.
I wish to assure all of Metropolis that this explosion was non-nuclear.
And presents no danger to the community.
-Now, if you'll excuse me. -Hey, what about The Joker, Mr. Luthor?
You heard the man.
What could have possessed me to trust that clown?
Hello, Mr. J. I'm Batman. Eat me, eat me, eat me!
I know you're trying to cheer me up, Harley.
But you see, any time I blow a billion-dollar deal...
...it really kills my appetite!
Honestly, Lex, don't you think I feel bad enough already?
You maniac! You idiot!
-How dare you use one of my laboratories-- -Harley?
-Put him down, baldy. -Mercy.
Here's for that punch in the face.
Can't we discuss this like gentlemen?
Listen to little Miss Can't-Take-A-Joke.
Thank you. Have a seat, please.
Banzai!
You owe me an explanation.
The lab was a perfect set-up.
How did I know old bat-breath would show up?
Batman? He followed you to Metropolis?
Oh, right. Like it's my fault.
Look, I've still got half the Kryptonite.
I can still finish the job.
But if I have to cope with two men in tights...
-...the price goes up. -Unacceptable.
If you can't handle some mental case in a fright mask, our deal is off.
Mercy, let's go.
Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
How you doing, slugger?
A-okay, Mr. J.
Hey, Smallville. Come in. What's up?
I see you're holding up after last night. I've been....
I didn't realize you had company.
Whoa, you might at least tell me why you stopped by.
I've been nosing around.
I think I may know why The Joker is suddenly after Superman.
Well, don't keep us in suspense.
I think he's in cahoots with your boyfriend's business partner.
With Lex? Are you sure?
I can't prove it. Yet.
I suppose I could ask him.
What? Who?
-What do you want? -lnformation.
Regarding a mutual acquaintance.
What are you talking about? I don't know any--
You know exactly who I mean.
Where is he? What kind of deal have you made with him?
I don't....
-l.... -Mr. Luthor. Are you all right?
-Who's in there? -Open up!
-He's in trouble. -The door's locked.
I don't have the keys.
Think about it. I'll be back.
All right, break it in.
-Mr. Luthor? -Get out.
Contact the clown immediately.
It appears we'll have to deal with his friend after all.
A transfer?
Just to the Planet's Gotham City bureau.
Does this mean you and Bruce...?
We haven't made a formal commitment or anything, but...
...yeah, it's that serious.
Hey, chin up, Smallville. With me out of the picture...
...you might get a shot at stardom.
Lois! Clark!
I just got word the cruise ship S.S. Atlantis...
...is sending a distress call 200 miles offshore.
Exactly. Call the Coast Guard to confirm and the cruise line for a statement.
You're not out of here yet, Lane.
What the devil is he up to now?
A change of attire, sir?
How fast can we get to Hobbs Bay?
If I may be so bold. When in Rome, sir....
-What's the problem, captain? -What do you mean?
You sent out a distress call, didn't you?
Not on my authorization.
There's the culprit. It's broadcasting an electronic beacon.
If one of my crew is responsible for this prank, they--
What is it? What's happening?
Whoever sent that distress signal...
...just provided the distress.
Copybat, copybat.
Suffering from propulsion envy, Batboy?
Think of it as a welcome wagon, Bats...
...welcoming you to the nearest mortuary.
Previously on Superman:
You owe me an explanation.
Look, I've still got half the Kryptonite.
I still can finish the job.
Keep in mind, this is your last chance.
Does this mean you and Bruce...?
We haven't made a formal commitment or anything, but...
...yeah, it's that serious.
This could be a fair fight after all, and who wants to see that?
Evening, Ms. Lane. Where's Mr. Kent?
-Probably out husking some corn. -Miss Lane?
Yeah, I'm still here.
Superman's towing the ship to harbor?
Can you find out how close he is? Yeah, I'll hold.
Let me guess. You're the only one here.
Is there something I should know?
-How do I contact Superman? -He's out at sea.
Never around when you need him.
Stay here. I'm the one it's after.
Bruce?
So when were you gonna tell me? The honeymoon?
Stay back.
Did I miss anything?
Reports indicate target acquisition negative, Mr. Luthor, sorry.
He survived. He lasted long enough for Superman to save him.
-Then they have the robot. -I know.
-But, Lex, they'll trace it back to you-- -I know!
Call the clown. I need one last meeting.
How could you have lied to me like that?
Now, I never actually said I wasn't Batman.
You wanna know what really galls me? I mean, beside the fact...
...that the new man in my life is really two men?
It's that I'm sitting on the hottest story of the year, "Batman Unmasked"...
...and there's not a blessed thing I can do about it.
Then you really do love me.
I'll get some iodine for that scrape.
Burning, stinging iodine.
I see she's taking it well.
It's ironic, you know.
She likes Bruce Wayne and she likes Superman.
It's the other two guys she's not crazy about.
Too bad we can't mix-and-match.
I'm not used to being rescued.
-Thanks. -I owed you one.
That robot tonight, it came from Lexcorp. I can prove it.
That's why I'm here. I figured you might want to help me bring Luthor in.
A partnership? You're joking.
I'm having trouble finding Luthor and I thought...
-...you might have some ideas. -I might.
She's not gonna like this, me leaving so soon...
-...for another fight. -Tell me about it.
That cut on your shoulder looked pretty nasty, Bruce.
I know a good doctor who....
Oh, no.
Has to be done.
I don't suppose a stern lecture on unnecessary risk-taking...
...is going to sway you.
-Sorry. -I didn't think so. Just be....
Careful.
Look at all the toys.
Santa's been good to you, Lex.
Joker, we've got serious problems.
A flying wing! Twenty times bigger than Batman's...
...and, knowing you, a hundred times as lethal.
Joker! Did you bring the rest of the Kryptonite?
Right here, chrome-dome. What's the plan?
Payback.
What's so funny?
Don't you get it, Harl? We're being set up to take the fall.
He can't do that.
Oh, no? How does this sound?
When I heard that one of my robots had been commandeered to kill Batman...
...I personally came here to investigate, and much to my surprise...
...I found you two.
It'll be your word against pudding's. I mean, Mr. J's.
Somehow, Pooh, I don't think we're gonna get the chance to say much.
You mean he's gonna kill us?
No, she is. I abhor violence.
Now, this is funny, Mr. J, except we're never gonna collect...
...our billion bucks now.
True, but I see a delightful consolation prize.
Nothing like a nice big smile.
-All done. -I love to personalize all my stuff.
Very amusing.
So how much is it going to cost me to get out of this?
I'm not a material guy, Lexy. No, what I want now is for you...
...to know what it feels like to lose everything you have.
Everything you've ever built. Like I lost everything to old Batboy.
We have incoming. Bats and flyboy.
I'll be right in. Bye-bye.
-See anything? -Luthor's been lining his buildings...
...with lead. It blocks my x-ray vision.
Well, there's always the direct approach.
You're learning.
A little distraction would be useful right now...
...wouldn't you say, Lexy?
I think your toys can handle this by themselves.
Besides, I'd hate to spoil my new paint job.
Now, let's see here.
Ignition.
Couldn't have done it better myself.
Helps if you're prepared.
Where's Luthor?
Joker took him in the Lexwing.
He said he'd make him lose everything he ever built.
Luthor's built half of Metropolis.
Go after The Joker. I shouldn't be long.
How's it feel, Lexy boy? Everything with your name on it...
...is going to be rubble.
Batman. It's always Batman.
What do you got in the way of air-to-air missiles, Lex?
You're asking me for help?
If I go down, you go down.
It's a red switch.
Which red--? Oh, the heck with it.
Lead-lined door. I'll have to thank Luthor.
Who's flying this thing?
Do something, for God's sake!
Eenie, meenie, minie, mo.
It's gonna blow! I'll get Quinn, you take Luthor.
-Pudding. -At this point, he probably is.
Hello, this is Angela Chen.
Though the search for Joker's body continues...
...the Coast Guard reports it is extremely unlikely...
...that Gotham 's most notorious criminal survived the crash.
In related news, billionaire Lex Luthor was again rigorously grilled...
...by the DA 's office over his alleged connection to The Joker's rampage.
His statements have been questioned both by local law officials...
...and industrialist, Bruce Wayne...
...who announced immediate termination of his partnership with Lexcorp.
And on a lighter note...
...Joker accomplice Harley Quinn was returned to Arkham Asylum...
...for another round of rehabilitation.
I want a lawyer. I want a doctor. I want a cheese sandwich!
Now that's funny.
I still wish you'd change your mind about Gotham.
I adore you, Bruce, but now there's a lot about you I don't know...
...and I'm not sure I wanna know.
I understand.
Take care of yourself.
Come to make sure I'm leaving?
Actually, I thought we worked well together.
Not that I wanna make it a regular event.
She's all yours now, if you can handle that.
But you'd better be good to her...
...because I know where you live.
Resync By: .:: Saeed.en ::.